Tweets

    meladoodle:

    *walks up to newborn baby* haha fuckin virgin

    (Source: meladoodle)

    manual:

    Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty

    songofages:

    casualdorkpatrol:

    casualdorkpatrol:

    so i was self-checking out at the grocery store and this comely stranger and I had been flirting a bit, and after they had finished checking out they went

    " I DON’T HAVE FLOWERS TO GIVE YOU BUT I WISH I DID BUT HERE HAVE THIS."

    AND THEY JUST GAVE ME A HEAD OF BROCCOLLI.

    image

    Guess who’s got a daaaaate

    Everytime i see this i think this person looks so pretty and should be drawn in a disney style.

    Everyone has a 2am and a 2pm personality. I’m more interested in the monster you become at 2am rather than the human being you pretend to be at 2pm.
    (via aliciarae)

    (Source: visua-liz-e)


    skinsluver:

    When someone is annoying the shit out of you